Life after menopause: what nobody told me
Everyone talks about perimenopause now, and thank goodness. It took long enough.
But once your periods stop, the conversation mostly stops too. As if you walk out the other side, collect your certificate, and that’s that.
I’m a fair way past my last period now. Here’s what nobody told me. Including the best part, which nobody mentions at all.
1. Nothing goes back to how it was. Thank goodness.
There’s no finish line, and no day where the old you comes back. Some things settle quickly, some slowly, and some take their sweet time.
I used to think that was the sad part. It’s not. The old me was working so hard to be who she thought she was meant to be. I don’t want her back.
2. Some things settle. Some hang around.
Honestly? Some things have got better. Some very much have not. Both can be true at the same time, and I’ve stopped waiting for it all to be sorted before I let myself enjoy things.
3. The brain fog can still turn up
I still start sentences with total confidence and lose the word halfway through. I’ve decided to laugh about it. Mostly.
4. Your body changes and your wardrobe doesn’t get the memo
The old clothes don’t fit the body, or the woman. I’m treating it like a fitting room, not a crisis. Oversized pants and a big jumper have done a lot of heavy lifting.
5. You need more rest, not more discipline
Everything I used to power through, I now have to actually recover from. That isn’t failure. It’s information. Going to bed when I’m tired has been one of the best things I’ve done.
6. What you used to tolerate, you just won’t anymore
The people pleasing. The over explaining. The pretending. Something in this stage just says no, and I’ve stopped arguing with it.
7. It’s the era of dropping the facade
Nobody told me this one. All that energy I spent being who I thought I was meant to be? I don’t have it anymore, and I don’t want it.
This is the bit where you stop performing and just get to be you. Who you always were underneath. And I actually like her.
Not there yet?
A lot of this isn’t really about menopause. More rest, less pushing, saying no to what doesn’t fit, dropping the facade. You don’t have to wait for your last period to start being you.
Tell me yours
What has surprised you about life after your last period? Or what are you wondering about if you’re not there yet? Send me a message. I’d love to hear it.
Shalissa
If you’d like someone to look at the whole picture with you, my 1:1 homeopathy consults are open online, wherever you are.